faeriedustbekki

recent events, leaving my sleeping patterns and energy levels all over the place... 

i am said to be immature and supposedly i do stuff to impress my friends!!
im pathetic!
a liar!
and supposedly im gunna lose all my friends!! there gunna abandon me?!

for one... ive always been a pretty mature person for my age! 
secondly ... why should i do stuff to impress my friends??
thirdly... i dont understand how i can be pathetic when i have a certain one person hack into my myspace to read my messages and lie pathetic amounts over silly stuff!
fourthly... im supposedly a liar.. i dont think i ever really properly lied to anyone.. maybe the little white lies about surprise parties and maybe what pressi someone else got someone for christmas or a birthday!
and finally... i have some very very good friends and i cant see them abandoning me... and i have plenty of friends so why would ALL of them have a reason to abandon me!

anyways... recent events have been hard, im not denying that... i know i made them but how can someone go on not feeling happy and not feeling themselves?! ... i dont think its possible... well ... if i did my life wouldnt be worth anything, i wouldnt enjoy myself, i would end up being a lonely sad old woman!!

i feel im gunna be happier in the long run... which is a good thing isnt it?

at the moment i feel like curling up for a few years till everythings blown over! ... but assessments blooming... there on monday!

i have shit loads of work to do! ... painting sketchbook... photography... lots of random bits for that... my film needs more editing... 3 drawing projects need finishing and a sketchbook for that too!! ...

do you think i'll get em done! as well as working 4/5 times this week!!?!

anyways... lots of love 
x X x 

i dunno what to say really.... but this is prob a good way of actually talking (with noone telling me im lieing or saying stuff to show off to my mates!(god that sounds so immature - but that didnt come from my mouth!)) about stuff....

i havent got the energy to talk about stuff now!

love x X x